grandmother
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| Lillian Kaufman, age 17, Lawler IA. Photo by brother Walter. |
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| Lillian Carroll, age 19 or 20 |
Lillian Blanche
Kaufman was born March 16, 1895, in Armour, South Dakota, the daughter of
Charles William Walter Kaufman and Frances Jane “Jenny” Coon. She was the
youngest of 4 children with siblings Hattie A. (1880), Winifred M. (1888) and
Walter Charles (1891). In addition, she was raised with “the mysterious Francis
Coon”. Mom thought that Francis might be Jenny’s son, born out of wedlock. An
obituary, however, revealed that Francis was the son of Hiram Coon, Jenny’s
brother. Hiram’s wife died within a week after delivering Francis and Hiram must
have felt unable to raise a baby on his own!
Lillian grew up
on the farm in Walnut Grove Township, Douglas County, South Dakota, which her
parents had homesteaded. In about 1902, the family moved into Armour so the 3
younger children could attend high school. In 1907, when Gramie was just 12, her
father died of spinal meningitis. In 1910, she was living with her mother, the
other children having left home. After Gramie graduated from high school, she
and her mother moved to Sioux City and lived with Gramie’s sister Winifred and
her family. Her brother Walter lived immediately next door.
On April 8, 1914, Lillian Blanche Kaufman
married Ira Munson Carroll in Sioux City, Iowa. They were married by a
Methodist Episcopalian minister, but did not tell anyone of their marriage for
3 weeks, when they moved in together! From this point forward, Lillian’s mother
Jenny lived with Ira and Lillian until Jenny’s death in 1929!
During their
years on a farm, Ira and Lillian lived near Toronto, Brookings and Garden City,
South Dakota. In 1925, Gramie wrote a letter talking about threshing the grain,
drying corn and making Pickle Lilly, a type of relish. She mentioned having to
shoot Tillie, their grievously injured horse. She wrote “school started
yesterday, Lois is the happiest kid you ever saw.” In 1929, she wrote another
letter to her niece Josephine, signing it “The Farmerette”. “Can you beat it we
have an all-white calf it’s only a week old but it’s a beauty. Do you still
want a cow coat?” “I drove new car for first time Sat. the gear stuff gets my
goat.” “Say Kiddo you better forget your week of whoopee and come out and
rescue me.”
No doubt, Ira’s
volatility posed some dilemmas for Gramie. In the late 1920’s, Ira helped put
Gramie’s brother Walter in jail for ‘family indiscretions’. So in 1930,
Walter’s 2 children, Clair (aged 19) and Mary (aged 17) were living with Ira
and his family, since Walter’s wife was deceased. Meanwhile, Walter lived in
the South Dakota State Penitentiary in Sioux Falls, working as a barber!
Shortly after
her husband Ira died in November, 1956, Gramie came to live with us in Great
Falls, Montana, where Jane was born on May 4, 1957. Jane was named after
Gramie’s mother “Jenny” who had died on May 4, 28 years earlier, and Gramie
always felt a special closeness to Jane. Gramie moved with us to Redwood City a
few months later, but decided to move to Colorado Springs in 1961 to be near
her son Bob and his family. Gramie kept the letters that George and Jane and I
had written when she left. George reported on the status of Dad’s stock,
helping Dad paint our bedroom and being able to press 130#. I reported on
swimming lessons, watching the kittens and having mandatory ‘quiet times’. Mom
wrote for Jane, “I am missing you so much. I feel like to cry, because you are
gone. Is it all right if Aunt Dorothy uses your room? I been worrying about
you.”
In December
1961, Gramie graduated from the ‘Gray Lady’ program sponsored by the American
Red Cross and did volunteer work in a local hospital. A few years later, she
moved to her own apartment on San Miguel. In about 1969, she moved to Overland
Park, Kansas, to live with son Bob and his wife Mary. In about 1970, she went
to the Los Angeles area to spend 4-5 months with her sister Winifred. In 1971,
she moved to Oklahoma City, where she lived the remainder of her years.
Gramie died on
March 30, 1983, age 88, in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, where she was living with
Mom and Dad. Cause of death was listed as congestive heart failure. Mom and Dad
and I erected a tombstone in Pleasant Ridge Cemetery, where both of her parents
were buried, and spread her ashes over the graves of her parents.
In February of 1983,
Gramie had written a note to her 3 adult children. “I have had a good life,
have loved and enjoyed my children grandchildren also great grands. I am ready
to leave this life at any time… So many happy memories for us all, do not want
them forgotten and only a vegetable to remember. My Love, Mother.” Cousin Kathy
Kunkel came to visit Gramie in late March and said that the doctor came the day
before she passed and said she would probably be able to live another good
couple of years. The next day, Kathy read Gramie letters that had just arrived
from her sister Winifred and niece Frances Mary and Gramie passed peacefully a
few moments later.
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